Does God Create "Flawed Products"? The Pain of Conversion Therapy Survivors and the Theological Liberation of "Reasonable as Natural"
By Mau Kwok Lam
Introduction: When "Repair" Becomes the Deepest Destruction
"You are unnatural. You need to be corrected to return to God's original design."
In many conservative churches and families, this phrase is heralded as the starting point of pastoral care. In order to remain within their faith communities and regain the acceptance of their parents, countless queer believers have entered various programs running under the guise of "counseling," "life renewal," or "spiritual transformation," attempting to change their sexual orientation or gender identity. Yet, when we strip away this gentle terminology, we are confronted by the lifelong, indelible trauma of the survivors.
In recent years, a global wave of reflection and legislative bans on conversion therapy has been rising. King Charles III declared in his speech to Parliament that the UK will legislate to ban conversion therapy. Meanwhile, in May 2026, the Vatican's Synod on Synodality's Study Group 9 released a report that historically, for the first time, included the real testimonies of gay believers, explicitly pointing out the "devastating impact" and spiritual torment that "reparative therapies" inflict on sexual minorities.
All these changes push a sharp question to the forefront of the Church: Does a unique life, personally breathed into existence by the Lord and woven in the mother's womb, really need to be crudely remolded by humans in the name of "love" and "tradition"? When the "nature" proclaimed by dogma clashes violently with real human suffering, how should we respond? This article will combine the real testimonies of survivors, scientific evidence from psychology and medicine, and introduce the "rational natural law" theology of Catholic moral theologian Kevin T. Kelly to find a path of healing and liberation for this long-standing trauma.
I. Wounded Souls: The Blood and Tears of Conversion Therapy Survivors
Conversion therapy has never been an abstract doctrinal debate; it is a very real scar branded onto concrete lives. Whether in Hong Kong, the United States, or the Vatican's historic report, survivors share similar stories of spiritual abuse and psychological torment.
1. Hong Kong Survivor Alvin: Cracking Under a Life as the "Walking Dead"
Alvin grew up in a traditional Christian family and attended Christian schools. Indoctrinated with the fear that "homosexuality equals sin and HIV/AIDS," he discovered his attraction to male classmates during secondary school, which immediately triggered endless guilt and panic. In 2005, under intense internal and external pressure, he reached out to a ministry introduced by his church, undergoing conversion counseling that claimed a "success rate of up to 70%."
During the years-long "treatment" process, Alvin was subjected to a series of de-individualizing behavioral modifications:
- Sensory and Behavioral Suppression: Setting strict abstinence goals and forcing himself to avoid any books, videos, or online content related to homosexuality or sexual minorities.
- Gender Expression "Correction": The counselor believed his same-sex attraction was due to a lack of "masculine traits," forcing him to play basketball and engage in heavy physical sports to "restore" his masculinity.
- The Cruel "Practice of Giving Up Hope": The counselor instructed him to initiate a so-called "healthy friendship" with the boy he liked. When the other party showed indifference or rejected him, Alvin was told to use this rejection to repeatedly tell himself "I must give up," attempting to sever his romantic feelings.
Instead of changing Alvin's sexual orientation, these methods pushed him into an abyss. Prolonged self-denial and emotional suppression left him with severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), forcing him to rely on psychiatric antidepressants just to function. He recalled living like the "walking dead," struggling through an agonizing spiritual crisis of asking, "Why won't God change me?" and repeatedly contemplating suicide.
2. American Survivor Garrard Conley: Being "Erased" Under Familial Threat
Garrard Conley, author of the acclaimed memoir Boy Erased (which was later adapted into a major film), was raised by a Southern Baptist pastor father. At 19, while at college, Conley was sexually assaulted by a classmate, an event that led to the outing of his homosexual identity.
Faced with a cruel ultimatum from his father—"either enter an ex-gay conversion program or be exiled from the family, lose your college tuition, and be cast out of the entire religious community"—Conley was forced to enter a conversion ministry in Tennessee called "Love in Action." The organization employed a religious practice modeled after the twelve-step addiction recovery program, requiring participants to repeatedly confess their sins and declaring their same-sex desires to be "abominable" and "beyond redemption." Conley wrote in his memoir that the fear forced upon him—that his very existence was fundamentally wrong—nearly destroyed his mind, driving him to the brink of suicide multiple times.
3. Vatican 2026 Study Group 9 Report: The Spiritual Trauma of Roman Catholics
In the report released by the Vatican in May 2026, the testimonies of two married gay Catholic men were officially recorded for the first time. They described to the Synod study group their long-term experiences undergoing "reparative therapy" in conservative Catholic ministries or counseling.
Their testimonies pointed out that reparative therapy, often operating under spiritualized banners of "chastity" or "restoring the created order," in reality implants a profound "spiritual shame" in individuals, making them believe they are "defective creations rejected by God." This not only caused countless gay believers to sever ties with their families of origin but also left deep spiritual wounds in their souls, throwing them into despair when they failed to meet the expectation of being "straightened out."
II. Scientific and Psychological Diagnosis: Not Treatment, but Dehumanizing Harm
Faced with the widespread psychological trauma of survivors, the global medical and psychological mainstream has long reached a consensus: sexual orientation and gender identity are natural expressions of human diversity and are not mental disorders. Any "conversion therapy" attempting to change sexual orientation lacks scientific backing and is highly harmful.
1. Stern Warnings from the Mainstream Scientific Community
Organizations like the World Health Organization (WHO), the American Psychological Association (APA), and psychiatric associations worldwide have issued statements stating that:
- Ineffectiveness: There is no reliable scientific evidence showing that human sexual orientation can be safely or permanently changed through external intervention.
- Harmfulness: Sexual Orientation Change Efforts (SOCE) cause profound psychological distress. Victims often experience clinical depression, severe anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), self-hatred, and a significantly elevated risk of suicidal ideation and behavior.
The Society of True Light(真光社), a Hong Kong organization focused on LGBTQ+ self-acceptance, collaborated with university scholars on a research report showing that among respondents in Hong Kong who had undergone conversion attempts, a staggering 83.3% had experienced suicidal ideation, and nearly 40% met the clinical threshold for depression. This data highly correlates with the evidence assessment report published by the UK government in 2021.
2. From "Seeking a Cure" to "Affirmative Practice"
Scientific advancements have brought about a fundamental paradigm shift in clinical settings. Modern psychology advocates for "LGBTQ+ Affirmative Practice" (or Affirmative Therapy).
This approach no longer views sexual orientation as a pathology to be cured, but instead affirms the diversity of human sexuality. The goals of affirmative therapy are:
- To help clients accept their true identity and alleviate the "minority stress" caused by social prejudice.
- To guide clients in integrating their faith and sexual orientation, rather than forcing them into an agonizing choice between "faith" and "self."
- To rebuild the client's social support systems and psychological resilience, enabling them to lead a healthy and dignified life.
When scientific evidence clearly demonstrates that "conversion therapy" does not bring healing but instead inflicts trauma and pathology, continuing this practice constitutes abuse in medical ethics and is a desecration of the Lord's creation in religious practice.
III. Theological and Ethical Reconstruction: When "Reasonableness" Meets "Co-Creation"
Many conservative believers support conversion therapy based on a traditional interpretation of "Natural Law": God created male and female bodies for procreation, and deviating from this path is deemed "unnatural" and therefore requires "repair" to return to nature.
However, Catholic moral theologian Kevin T. Kelly, in his book New Directions in Sexual Ethics, dismantles these chains. He points out that many blind spots in traditional sexual ethics stem from equating "nature" simply with biological laws. If we re-examine the theological tradition, we discover a completely different path.
1. Redefining Natural Law: Reasonable is Natural
Kelly notes that humans, unlike animals, do not live by biological instinct alone. The Lord breathed "reason" into human life, making us agents with moral agency. Thus, the medieval theologian St. Thomas Aquinas emphasized that natural law is essentially "the sharing in the eternal law by rational creatures."
Based on this, Kelly proposes a deeply liberating theological argument:
In the moral context of natural law, "Natural" actually means "Reasonable."
If we are to live in accordance with our human nature, we must live reasonably. What, then, is reasonable? A medical procedure (such as contraception, artificial insemination, or even gender confirmation surgery), although "artificial," can protect human dignity and enhance the quality of relationships; in the moral context of natural law, it therefore possesses more "naturalness" than simply "allowing biological features to run their course." Conversely, if a tradition claimed to be "natural" results in the oppression, humiliation, or exclusion of gay or transgender people, then that tradition is "unreasonable" and therefore "unnatural."
Kelly's theory of "rational natural law" provides us with a completely new perspective on how we view conversion therapy:
- Unreasonable is "Unnatural": Conversion therapy attempts to suppress a person's core self, causing severe trauma, PTSD, and even suicide. A practice that destroys personal integrity and causes life to wither is, under rational evaluation, extremely "unreasonable"—and therefore, it is the most "unnatural" thing of all.
- Reasonable is "Natural": A gay believer accepting their unique, created self and living out dignity and responsibility within a loving, reciprocal relationship is, even if it does not serve a reproductive purpose, highly "reasonable" because it fosters personal wholeness. Therefore, queer love and self-acceptance are entirely "natural" in a moral sense.
As Kelly argues, humans are naturally endowed with wisdom and creativity; our use of scientific and psychological insights to alleviate suffering and promote human dignity is itself part of our nature. "Artificial" interventions (such as affirmative counseling or legislation banning conversion therapy), as long as they are reasonable and life-protecting, are in principle "morally natural."
2. The Pilgrim Church on a Journey
Some believers fear that changing tradition will shake the very foundations of the Church. But Kelly reminds us that the vision of the "People of God" embraced by the Second Vatican Council shows that the Church is essentially a "Pilgrim Church."
We are pilgrims navigating the storms of history, not settlers who have reached the final destination and can settle down. A pilgrim's posture requires us to remain open to new knowledge and human experience (pilgrim openness). As stated in Section 44 of Vatican II's Gaudium et Spes, advances in the sciences and the evolution of human experience help the Church reveal the nature of creation more fully, allowing revealed truth to be better understood.
In the face of the cries of conversion therapy victims, the Church should not reject dialogue with the arrogance of "the matter is settled" (causa finita est). Instead, it should adopt a humble stance of "Yes, but...", listening to the testimonies of survivors, acknowledging the pastoral harm caused by past ignorance, and adjusting its course as the Holy Spirit guides through history. The criticism of reparative therapy in the Vatican's 2026 report is a concrete contemporary practice of this "pilgrim model."
3. The True Meaning of "Playing God": Extending the Stewardship of Creation
Whenever society pushes for bans on conversion therapy or advocates for transgender healthcare autonomy, conservative forces often accuse these efforts of "playing God," arguing that humans should not interfere with nature's original design.
Kelly offers a beautiful counter to this accusation: God did not create the world as a finished, "do not touch" clockwork mechanism, but rather as an ongoing process. God invites humans to use their reason as "co-creators" to continue this creative work.
When we push for legislation to ban conversion therapy out of love and justice, protecting creation from the devastation of pseudoscience, we are not usurping divine authority; we are fulfilling our highest stewardship. Conversely, knowing that such therapies shatter souls and cause lives to wither, yet continuing to enforce them in the name of the sacred, is not playing God—it is "playing the fool."
As Nicholas Lash once wrote, "the forgiveness and healing of the world is the completion of creation." We, a community of wounded healers in a world polluted by sin and prejudice, use rational love to salvage wounded souls. This is the very process of sanctification, completing creation in partnership with God.
Conclusion: Beholding the Beauty of Creation in Rational Love
We are all the Lord's people on a pilgrim journey.
From Kevin Kelly's work in the 1990s confronting AIDS hysteria to today's global bans on conversion therapy and theological awakening, the trajectory of history is clear: reason is not the enemy of faith, but a beacon that lights the way for love and justice.
If a tradition claiming to be "holy" brings only pain and death, it is unreasonable and unnatural. If a change allows love and human dignity to flourish in freedom, it is the work of the Holy Spirit.
Every queer believer is a "sensitive and innocent creature of God." To stop violently remodeling them, and to accept them as they are with scientific rationality and theological compassion, is not a compromise of faith—it is the truest form of worship to the Creator who declared that all creation is very good.
Further Reading and References:
- Kevin T. Kelly, New Directions in Sexual Ethics: Moral Theology and the Challenge of AIDS, (London: Geoffrey Chapman, 1998).
- Vatican General Secretariat of the Synod, Study Group 9 Final Report, (May 2026).
- Garrard Conley, Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family, (Riverhead Books, 2016).
- Society of True Light (真光社), A Study on the Experience and Impact of Sexual Orientation Change Efforts (SOCE) / Conversion Therapy among Sexual Minorities in Hong Kong.
- UK Government, Evidence Assessment on Conversion Therapy, (2021).
- Rosemary Radford Ruether, Sexism and God-Talk: Towards a Feminist Theology, (London: SCM, 1983).